OH, THEY WANT A STARING CONTEST?
Maybe.
Maybe not.
Who could ever know?
Bullies are mean-spirited, nasty and abusive.
A joke is never just a joke with a bully. It is a delivery system for a very mean, undercover message meant to take down the Target.
Ya know the saying, "there's always a little truth to every joke?"
Yep, there absolutely is and bullies don't do much at all to hide the truth.
These situations are very awkward, which is precisely the bully's goal. When they deliver the prank or joke, you may feel:
๐ Sad
๐ Embarrassed
๐ Angry
๐ Startled
๐ Hurt
๐ Frustrated
๐ Irritated
๐ Nervous
๐ Worried
๐ Any and every emotion in between
It's not normal to be at work and to be attacked. Even worse is when the bully does this in front of others, the spotlight is on you and everyone is watching to see how you respond.
Respond however you dang well please.
There's no handbook for these types of situations because every dynamic different. You will know best how to respond to these masked attacks on your character better than anyone.
I recall a time this happened to me...my imposter leader delivered a nasty joke toward me with another person in the room for the meeting and in response, I simply stared at my imposter leader for a good 60 seconds without blinking because I couldn't find the words - my feelings were so hurt and I feared that if I spoke up, I would get emotional. So, I just stared at him. It felt like six months went by in those 60 seconds. Without knowing it, I initiated a staring contest (ha!) but I just kept glaring at him until he got the message I was telepathically sending him...the message was "try it again and this will get ugly".
Wrong or right, that's what I did - and he didn't try the masked nastiness via a joke ever again.
But know this - jokes from a bully are not jokes. They are undercover attacks meant to diminish you, embarrass you and make you feel like an outsider, especially when done in front of others.
Respond as you will and as you are comfortable.
Be kind, be good...and always keep your head on a swivel - Lauri
โ If you would like to set up an initial discussion with me to discuss your situation and how I can offer support, schedule a meeting here:ย https://lnkd.in/dX72SQnb
๐ง Please reach out toย workplacebullyproject@gmail.comย if you need individual support.
Check out the available resources at the WBP Online Resource Center, stan.store/workplacebullyingproject:
โ 34 Red Flags to Watch Out for In Job Postings: https://lnkd.in/g6yPB2MS
๐ฏ Find Out If You're a Target of a Workplace Bully:ย https://lnkd.in/ekA-ners
โ 43 Tactics and Strategies Used by Bullies to Torment Targets:ย https://lnkd.in/gBu3YTRG
๐ฝ10-Page Self-Care guide right here at the WBP Online Resource Center:ย https://lnkd.in/ezayEQf6
๐ 21-page Boundary Development Guide - Your First Line of Defense Against Bullies!ย https://lnkd.in/enBD4-89
๐ก 63 WBP LinkedIn Posts to Help You Learn About All Things Workplace Bullying:ย https://lnkd.in/eat29hsT