It's Just Gossip Then...Right?
Imposter leaders and bullies love to play games that mess with your mind.
One of the most common games they play is telling the person they are abusing that they have received feedback about them...and then they say nothing. They refuse to share the feedback. They do this purposely to emotionally torture you and make you wonder who is saying what...and inevitably you will go to a dark place and begin to imagine all the negative things people may be saying about you.
Know this - your imposter leader may not be receiving any feedback at all and they could be outright lying. The more realistic scenario is that they are gossiping about you and in these conversations they are eliciting negative feedback from the other person...and thus, the "feedback". Gross and disgusting behavior, right?
Correct. So, then they dangle this negative feedback in front of you to torture you. They love it. They thrive on this moment of watching you ask for the feedback and doing your best to get it out of them so you can take action. They live for this moment where they can place a nugget of doubt in your mind, because this is their goal...slash away at your confidence in their mission to suppress and minimize you.
Ask them to share the feedback. Ask two or three times. Once they don't share it, you can simply move on...document the interaction and if it comes up again, call them out on the fact that they elected not to share the feedback despite your several requests to receive it. You cannot improve or make any changes if feedback is not provided in an open, abundant and safe space.
An imposter leader telling you they have negative feedback to share with you and then not sharing it is the work of an emotional arsonist in a psychologically unsafe environment.
Reach out to me for support, I will help you. Let's get you to a safe work environment where your talents are recognized and celebrated!
Be kind, be good...and always keep your head on a swivel - Lauri
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